Monday, March 1, 2010

Peep Me Now

My husband…..

He did the nicest and most cruel thing today. He bought Peeps and Robin’s Eggs. He hid them both on the top shelf of the pantry. But when you live with Sherlock Holmes there is nooooo way these items can remain hidden for long.

I love the ads that say, “Peeps are not fattening.” Well, what if you eat the entire box? Then what??? Cause, guess what, that’s my problem. I can’t eat just one Peep!! Does anyone eat just ONE Peep???

I love Peeps. And now, I don’t even have to wait for Peep season. Cause Peeps are year round

So far, I’ve inhaled 5 Peeps. I feel good. But I’d feel even better if I inhaled 5 more.

But, nooooooooooo the Nazi nutritionist is pounding away saying, no, no, no more Peeps. Moderation, moderation, moderation. And yet my brain is saying, just one more, or two, or three, or lemme just finish this off!

Oh God, it’s a Peep Predicament.

I am yearning for more Peeps. They're perched in their little yellow Peep boxes screaming, “eat me,” “no me,” no meeeee!”

So, now do I go for the Robin’s Eggs? They are, of course more fattening. Those delightful pastel colored eggs with malted milk flavoring. YUM. Basically whoppers in disguise. But, they don’t have two little eyes staring at me. They’re not cute and cuddly. They’re not chirping. Instead they are safely secured in their heavy plastic bag.

I’m preparing for a pitch meeting. Because I work in the all important entertainment industry. This is the time when gallons and gallons of food can not satiate my need for emotional coddling. I’m looking for the perfect pitch; the perfect story. And the more I look the more I find Robin’s eggs and Peeps…

My husband knows this. He knows I struggle with food. He doesn’t struggle, he’s a guy. He doesn’t care. Mostly cause he doesn’t worry about the bulge over his waist, he’s more concerned about the one under it.

He’ll drop a dozen Robin’s Eggs while snuggled up on the couch in front of his 3 plasma TV’s so he doesn’t miss one single moment of a game anywhere, anytime. And when he’s done with those suckers, he’ll top it off with those five little Peeps that continue to stare at me through their broken cellophane window.

I’m gonna tough it out and ignore those little darlins and instead go for my scrumptious skinless boneless chicken breasts...

And then, about two hours later, when I hear the delightful sound of snoring, I’m gonna sweep in and steal those lovelies.…

And then I’m gonna hide the rest in a really good place, one that is so good, that hopefully even I wont be able to find them!

Meanwhile, I love this article in the Huffington Post..Take a look. What do you think???


  1. All you need is a fox around the house, to eat the peeps, and possibly your husband. Then you'd be fine.

  2. I'm reading this funny blog relating to it because, I, too, am a fellow chocolaholic (maybe we need a 12-step program?) and, like a voyeur, I'm 'peeping' at another female who loves chocolate as much as me! Why DO delicious foods have to make us gain weight? It's SO unfair! (and why don't we burn calories by CHEWING???)
    I, too, love those chicks and robins eggs this time of year...but if you REALLY want something decadent, try the DOVE easter bunny chocolates... MMMMM!!! (and if you DO, HIDE THEM FROM YOUR HUSBAND!!)

  3. There is something very, very STINKY about this post.