Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Diet Coke and Eating….It’s The Real Thing…

I spoke to a film and TV class last night.

I made it through without eating myself into oblivion, because, I’ve discovered nirvana: DIET COKE.

I know, I know, its bad, puke, awful, full of cancer causing chemicals, caffeine, addictive, etc. And yet I don’t seem to care, because it seems to curb hunger. And it keeps me awake.

And I needed both last night.

So, what’s this bit about speaking at a class?

Well, I’ve been around showbiz a while, many years, in fact. And it’s time to give back. To offer some advice, help, solace, insight, to a new generation eager to pursue their dreams of becoming producers, writers, and directors.

As I looked over the class and took in all the pupils, I couldn’t help but notice how great everyone looks in their twenties. Great skin, hair, bodies, clothes. (Probably great sex too, but that’s another blog, or posting, whatever…)

I doubt many were in Spanx, and I didn’t see one gray hair. Aging and weight gain certainly rears its ugly head when confronted by youth. I guess aging and weight gain is the “real thing” but one that so many of us would like to avoid. Yet another good reason to eat and drink diet coke…

I met a lot of excited, energetic, enthusiastic kids eager to make their mark on the world. Eager to start at the top. Eager to get outta school. Eager to make money. Eager to pitch their stories. Eager to blast through the ranks.

And, eager to eat everything in sight with little fear of gaining any real weight that can’t be taken off with one colon cleanse. (Something we old dudes would prefer over the colonoscopy with similar results, but far greater, and uh, mercilessly difficult, preparation…)

I tried not to inflict pain. Or realism for that matter. Because I can sometimes offer a too jaded view of what’s ahead for them in the world of entertainment. But I just couldn’t do that last night.

Instead I offered encouragement, support, and embraced their fantasies -- oh, darn, I didn’t mean that, I meant expectations, much better word -- (that jaded thing pops up every once in a while)—Yes, I wanted to embrace their expectations and offer optimism…

So, I drank my diet coke, didn’t eat, (maybe it was those skinny jeans on everyone that kept me from eating the two cookies now crumbled in my purse) and stayed awake.
I stayed focused on THEIR real thing…SUCCESS.

Remember that great 70’s commercial where everyone is singing that very catchy tune about how Coke is the Real Thing? Take a look at it again. Its such a lovely tune, once you hear it you’ll be singing it in your sleep.

I hope this new crop of kids entering show business will succeed. And I hope they won’t get driven out before they drive in, because it’s a tough take-no-prisoners business.

As these students leave their very protected and insulated cocoon to enter the real world, they will begin to experience the REAL “real thing,” or what some of us ol' farts refer to as: stress, killer competiveness, overeating, aging prematurely, psychosomatic illnesses, GERD, hyperventilation, panic attacks, exhaustion, envy, fury, maniacal bosses, life-is-unfair-deal-with-it syndrome, racism, sexism, ageism, tons more isms, insecurities, and the almighty sedatives and addictive painkillers that got us all through those very difficult times, the REAL, REAL THINGS -- FOOD and DIET COKE!!

So, here’s to the new graduates and their success.

And, here’s to food and diet coke.

And, don’t for one minute think those two cookies are still in my purse….


  1. As we look longingly at all those young hopefuls, it's comforting to remember that they're all dealing with rampant insecurity, acne, and crippling self-consciousness. It's always something!

  2. Gandhi stayed thin. Maybe the problem is you're a Hollywood butthead.

  3. The problem is you're a butthead, Anonymous. I'm mortified to be sharing a screen handle with you. Someone's putting their feelings out there, on the line, honestly talking about emotions we all experience, and you're heaping smug ridicule. I say BRAVO to you, SMTC - and show us all some more chocolate.

  4. Wow. This was quite a read- because I've been really wondering WHO is writing this---and clearly, it IS someone in "hollywood" - It makes it that much more of a 'real thing' to know that, even in the land of addictive plastic surgery, there are people who have to worry about weight...and chocolate.
    Oh, btw- I heard that Coke is going to re-do this famous commercial---an updated version...and I THINK COKE has been holding auditions, too...(though something tells me this blog author already knows that...)

  5. This website gives me the munchies.

  6. No posts lately? Apparently, you've been starving yourself. Must be wasting away to nothing.

  7. Anonymous -- You are tooooo funny. I am still devouring Peeps, you know it IS the season. And today my trainer suggested I eat less chocolate, if I wanna lose weight. He's crazy. How could I ever do THAT??